I get a lot of questions each day, but there are always those that stand out and that are just too good to go without answering them via the blog. And usually, the answers are so in depth, that a blog post is warranted so I am not retyping the same long response each and every time. Today is one of those days. I would say one of the top ten questions I receive is, "How do you get your family on board with your cleaning and organizing?" and "What is your cleaning routine?".
I have a feeling this could turn into a really long post, so I apologize in advance, but it is one that I have been gearing up to for a long time!
First, full disclosure:
I am a parent. I am not a parenting expert. I get asked a lot of advice on ways to work with kids, but I often times avoid over-sharing our personal parenting choices on the www since no two parents are ever the same and each must decide what they feel is best for their family. It is such a touchy subject, and although I am sure that there are parents out there that will read this post and gasp that we are far too harsh and strict with our kids, and others that will roll their eyes because we are not hard enough. We have just been asked these questions so many times, that we are putting our response out there. It may be right, it may be wrong, it may be crazy. I just ask that this does not become a parenting forum. Pleasethankyou.
So let's get this party started!
How do I get my family on board with our cleaning and organizing systems?
It's not always easy, that is for sure. It is easier for me to get motivated to keep a clean home since it is my passion and is who I am. There are days where I crave cleaning because I find it is refreshing and I am far happier and more productive when the spaces around me are tidy. But my boys... they sure don't think that way. They think about scooters, baseball, football, golf, the sandbox, friends, video games and Nick Jr.
So, I have had to work over the years at finding a happy medium and experiencing many trials and errors. There were times when I would just do it all because "I was the only one who could do it to my standards anyway". I would do it all to avoid sounding like a nag, but then get burnt out and turn into a nag anyway. I have tried leaving their messes alone for so long that surely they would get sick of them and want to help... nope, that day didn't come. Once a bowl of macaroni sat on the counter for six days before I couldn't take it any longer. I have tried writing down everything I pick up randomly throughout the day so they can realize that they were leaving the milk out, cupboards open and their socks scattered down the hallway. I have tried reward charts, chore charts, treasure boxes and allowances. I am tellin' ya, I have been trying to figure it all out for years, and I still don't have it all down but we are getting better each and every day.
Here are some of my tips:
- I believe that when the kids see the parents being active with their chores, they are more willing to do their own. Monkey see, monkey do.
- By doing my chores at the same time that the kids are doing theirs, there is an automatic feeling of unity. It goes with one of our many motto's, "We work together so we can play together" and one my mom always taught me, "Many hands make light work". My kiddos hear these phrases often.
- I lowered my expectations. This one was HUGE for me. I was picky {and still am, I just have learned to bite my tongue and shut my yapper}. If a toilet didn't get cleaned well, I would go back and redo it. If a bed didn't get made right, I would just do it. If my hubs cleaned the kitchen, I would follow behind him and finish what he didn't. One day he said, "If we are both going to waste our efforts doing the same chores, I am just not going to do them anymore." Smart man. I needed to hear that. I was burning myself out over my own standards. If I ever wanted to relax, I needed to take the help of my kids and husband and not complain if it wasn't done the way I would have done it. So, now I may offer a friendly suggestion here or there, but for the most part, if a stair gets missed or a garbage didn't get emptied, I just let it be.
- By lowering my expectations, I was also able to remind myself that no home is "perfect". That many of the homes I visit, have toys spread out in the living room, dishes in the sink and shoes scattered in the entry. And I never would judge someone for those things, in fact, it makes their home feel loved and lived in. So why couldn't I be OK with that when it came to our own home? I would always find myself apologizing for any of our messes that were left out when we had unexpected company. Now, I just ignore the dog slime on the patio door and hope that my neighbors might see it and think, "they have a sweet family dog" instead of, "yuck, doesn't she ever clean her glass?" Because yes I do, just not that specific day. And if it means that I need to let dirty dishes sit in the sink until I can get some help, then they will just have to sit.
- When it comes to getting the kids on board, I sat them all down and explained that they would no longer be earning an allowance, that we all live in our home, and we all must share in taking care of our home. Our home was the reward. They understood at the time, but they lacked that motivation and drive within a day or two. So, I also let them know that with the home came many of their privileges. I have no problem with them scooting around with their friends, playing some video games and watching TV, as long as their chores {and of course homework}, were taken care of. Now they have something to work for and motivation. And every time I purchase a new baseball bat or some of their favorite craft items, or sign them up for another activity, I make sure to thank them for their help around the house so they associate the earning of other luxuries, as a reward for their helping hands.
- Routine. Huge word for us. My kids thrive on routine. Routines lessen the daily struggle and "surprise" element. When they know what is expected and what their chores are each and every day, week and month, they are much more willing to help than when I spring something on them at the last minute. The planner in me completely appreciates that, so I try to offer that respect to my kids.
- I involved the kids and Mr. in decisions. When we decided that we would create a family cleaning chart and routine, we made a long list of all the tasks and had each individual volunteer for the jobs they wanted first. The remainders were divided out based on age, skill level and number of chores that each person had. It was important to us to all feel included, and to all see that everyone is expected to be helpful, no single person would be singled out. The chart was done in simple color code format and can be erased and reused week after week.
- Another motto we share around here is quite simple, "You have to work hard, to play hard". If we want to go on a weekend getaway, we may do a few extra chores before hand. If the kids want to play with friends, they have to finish their daily tasks. Simple stuff. I try and show them with real life examples, and that the motto will follow them their whole life, whether in school or for work. That we work hard to earn our incomes, which in turn will allow us to play hard.
- Have fun with it! I love to play music and make sure we are all having a good time. And I love to have fun when we are done to celebrate our hard work!
- When it comes to younger kiddos, I have to dig deep to remember what worked best, but I really tried to get them excited about pickup time right from the start, instead up making it a chore, I would make it a game. I always gave them a five minute warning before it was time to pick up, to avoid possible tantrums. And if they pulled things out, they would help put them back. Consistency was huge! Kiddos are smart and learn quickly like little tiny sponges.
- Last but not least, I became a problem solver. My kids are all SO different, and I found that different things work for each of them. I also realized that if I were just to start watching my hubby's habits and patterns, that I could problem solve some of his messes and cater to his routine instead of asking him to change. By being understanding to each of their ages and needs, I can create systems that work for them. For example, my youngest loves picture labels, so I use those for him. My middle son loves color coding, so I do that for him. My oldest will take the quickest route to getting anything done, so we picked chores for him that didn't need attention to detail. If my Mr. always drops his keys on the counter by the garage instead of on the tray on top of the show rack, I move the tray. Why have him change his daily habit just because I think the tray looks prettier by the front door?
Ready to hear it straight from the fam? I asked them to try their hardest not to feel pressured and to be completely honest {even if they were going to say something they didn't think I would want to hear}, to make a quick video to share. Of course, with three boys at complete different stages in life, I got a lot of fun answers and a whole range of attitudes about the entire process!
Our Cleaning Plan!
So now that you have heard a little about what each boy does, I thought I would go into more detail about our cleaning schedule.
So that you can associate each boy's age to their chores, Preston is 11, Peyton is 8 and Parker is 6.
Daily:
- Sweep/vacuum main areas - Jen: We have two dogs and kids. The floors get really dirty really fast. I like to use a stick vac and go over the surfaces quickly each day.
- Wipe down bathrooms - Jen: I try to multi-task and do this while I give the kids baths or when I take my own shower. This doesn't mean cleaning the toilet or shower each day, I just give the surfaces a quick once over.
- Wipe down the kitchen - Bryan & Jen: Bryan cooks and we share in cleanup after dinner.
- Put away laundry - Everyone
- Make bed - Everyone: Only if company is coming, not required daily.
- Full house pick-up - Everyone
- Pick up dog doo - Poor Bryan: He volunteered for yard chores and this fell into that category!
- Empty/Load the dishwasher - Preston
- Take out the garbage - Preston: This doesn't need to be done daily, but he checks it daily}
- Bring down the laundry - Peyton
- Get the Mail - Peyton
- Take out the recycling - Parker: This doesn't need to be done daily, but he checks it daily}
- Take up and down the basket by the stairs - Parker
Weekly:
- Clean glass - Jen: I can't get enough of my new rag and water system! Glass glimmers now!
- Dust - Jen
- Toilets - Jen
- Wipe down microwave - Jen: I just put some water and vinegar in a glass bowl and run it in the microwave for five minutes, then everything wipes clean with a microfiber cloth.
- Wipe out fridge - Jen: I do a fridge clean out each week when we bring in new groceries. I sort of love a freshly organized fridge!
- Wash sheets/towels - Jen: I can run these loads while working from home, super spoiled.
- Vacuum cabinet fronts - Jen: I do this a few times a week when I run the vacuum on the rest of the kitchen floor, this step only adds a couple of seconds.
- Vacuum under furniture - Jen: I will admit, this is a least favorite and I skip it more than I should.
- Organize the mail bins - Jen: I do this to ensure our bills are getting paid, papers are filed and that they don't get out of control from being neglected each week.
- Pull Weeds - All: Another one that if you stay on top of it weekly, it isn't so bad. We all own it in the spring when they are the worsts, then, I will mention it each week and usually my younger two are excited to get muddy and dirty. We only have a few small areas to weed, so it's only a few minutes per week tops.
- Clean shower/tub - Bryan: I don't "have the strength" I tell him. But when you do it weekly, it shouldn't really ever be that bad. He does the shower so he doesn't have to clean toilets.
- Mow lawn - Bryan
- Weed whip - Bryan
- Mop floors - Preston: I vacuum so all he has to do is run the mop over the floor. Easy peasy.
- Bring up garbage can from curb - Preston: It is simple enough for him to grab it when he gets off of the bus
- Collect garbage - Peyton: He gathers the small garbages from around the house and places them into one on garbage night.
- Vacuum the stairs - Peyton: He ends up doing this 2-3 times per week since our new stairs show dust ten minutes after they are cleaned.
Monthly:
- Scrub grout - Jen: I use baking soda, water/vinegar and a grout brush and go to town! We only have grout in our lower bathroom {the kitchen backsplash gets wiped down with the counters}, so a counter and the floor isn't too much to keep up with.
- Clean out garbage cans - Jen: I rinse each garbage can out with hot soapy water
- Vacuum ceilings/corners - Jen: Our stick vac rocks!
- Vacuum couch cushions - Jen: It is amazing the things I find in those things!
- Cycle clean appliances - Jen: I just use the special solutions found in the cleaning aisles at Target for cleaning the dishwasher and washer.
- Launder bath rugs/mats - Jen: One extra load on linen day!
- Wipe down cabinet fronts - Jen: A microfiber rag and water removes any footprints and dirt circles around the hardware
- Clean stove top burners - Bryan: A little elbow grease gets rid of the food grease.
- Vacuum vents - Bryan: He is happy with any excuse to play with the shop vac.
- Dust ceiling fan blades - Bryan: He can reach easier than I can.
- Sweep the garage - Bryan: Since it is cold 90% of the time in Wisconsin, I avoid the garage. It is my hubby's man cave.
- Wipe down the car interior - Bryan: A boy and his toys.
- Vacuum car interior - Preston: He can bond with his dad during this time.
- Wipe down switch plates - Peyton: Have you ever noticed how dirty those things get? Thank you microfiber for making cleaning them simple!
Quarterly:
- Clean oven - Jen & Bryan: tag team!
- Clean out fridge/freezer - Jen & Bryan: Since Bryan cooks, we do this together and meal plan and toss as needed.
- Launder furniture cushions - Jen: Another load on linen day. Slipcovers get done quarterly too.
- Lander bed comforters - Jen
- Vacuum mattress - Jen: Same time as washing the comforters
- Descale coffee maker - Jen: I am the only coffee drinker in the house. With our hard water, the machine needs quarterly lovin'.
- Change furnace filter - Bryan: I would have no clue how to do this.
- Vacuum computer - Bryan: Bryan works on computers daily for his profession, just as a HVAC guy will tell you to change your furnace filter, my hubby will tell you that you need to carefully vacuum the inside of your computer.
Semi-Annually:
- Wipe down doors - Jen: Water and microfiber for the win again!
- Wipe down walls & trim - Jen: Same same.
- Smoke alarm battery check - Bryan
Annually:
- Exterior windows - Jen & Bryan: Excited to try our new inside method, on the outside!
- Clean out cabinets - Everyone: Annual purging and decluttering. If I am good throughout the year, this is easy, if I slack, we have a little extra work to do in the spring.
- Clean out drawers - Everyone
- Any other random cleaning chore that only needs to be done as needed - as needed.
As the kids mentioned, our house isn't perfect every day and night. It gets messy. We live in our home and use and abuse it day and night. Chores are prioritized and if life happens, then chores don't happen. They are just moved to another day. By having the reusable checklist, we can check off the things that have been done and catch up when life gets in the way. The weekly chores are often times spread out so it's not too much to handle on any given day, typically 15-20 minutes is spent per day each of us, since it is so nicely divided. It is important for us to be flexible and forgiving with this system, or else I would drive myself bonkers. And as the kids mentioned, they don't love doing chores, but who does? I definitely didn't when I was younger, but looking back, I am so glad my parents left me with lists and responsibilities. Fingers crossed my boys will feel the same some day....
Oh! And to really go the extra mile, I like to pull in fresh flowers and light a candle after the kids are in bed. It really makes the house look and smell good! I highly recommend it! #itsthelittlethings
So there you have it! The super duper lengthy all about cleaning our home post! Did I chat your ears off? Did that answer your questions? If it sparked any additional, feel free to leave 'em in the comments below.
Have a happy weekend my friends! And don't forget, Monday we are linking up everyone's cleaning posts and tips so stay tuned!
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